Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Letters to Jose Canseco

A letter to Jose
It doesn't matter
i'm never asked to hang out anyways
I have cleveland and my heroin addict friends.
I'm not friends with the people in that house,
as I recall,
I was hardly friendly with them to begin with
accepting something doesn't require you to appreciate it.
I feel unsure of how to make my glasses not glare.
An asian man at the library has just spilled an open drink everywhere.
Oh, what is it? I don't have a license.
I have a year left,
I never even saw it.
You're tired of looking at porn.
Mcdonalds has turkey.
That is crazy.
I am poor.
I got my food stamps renewed
now this heroin addict I have been hanging out with won't have to buy me food anymore
this is ridiculous.
A full-blown crack addict/heroin junkie
what am I doing
just my ranting to you.

Thanks for listening, Jose Canseco.

Another Letter to Jose
Dear Jose,
What are you doing
im sad
i need fun
i need help
i want to dance but there will be a lot of shitheads out in clevo tonight
what is fun
i am going to eat biscuits
eat the pain
did brian wilson get fat
what should I do
stop hanging out with drug addicts
i promised him a bunch of weird stuff to give him hope and things to look forwardto
like “oh when you quit we can go on a date”
“yeah ill move to new york with you”
but like, he is gonna die
he won't give himself responsibility
he won't give himself a structured environment
he's too much of a little bitch
“oh I don't like it”
“too many rules”
oh no
I need school
thought of it
“give me your dope if you're really quitting” then selling it to pay my bills
or gas for driving out there
I dont think so
they stopped talking to me
they live in their own little world
it doesnt matter
why didn't anyone tell me
should I go out tonight
my birthday was two weeks ago
eat shit, jose
eat shit
I haven't seen anyone
i'm not as important
eat another biscuit
soft buns

Mr. Canseco?
wanna party?
what's up?
You brushed your teeth
god damnit
wanna go out tonight?
some hip band I dont know
im just gonna try to get some numbers maybe
ive already gone through the worst of them
oh I just got called into work

Short note for Jose
Hey Jose,
im eating chips
not even hungry
sounds tough
im not
do you know what chips are for?
eating when sad
I work with matt today
gonna feel weird

Letter #5 to Jose Canseco
I want to start running and do a marathon
aren't I gay
you did 70-something push-ups today
hot damn
3 pull-ups is your record
I can do one
you have to go to class
face your fears
be brave
be a twitchy mess
damn, jose
when you used to use a lot of amphetamine
you failed everything
and developed a tic
it was not a good look for you
you also didn't shower or brush your teeth
in 2005
I was just beginning to blossom into an alcoholic

Last short note to Jose
I always eat and im always hungry
this is depression
you think I have a parasite
depression worms

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